Wednesday, October 15, 2008

House Hierarchy '08

I'm a big fan of challenges, and today, the competition began.

I realized recently that I should probably be making more of an effort to bond with the guys in my house, so I suggested that we develop a house hierarchy to determine who is the best in the house and who is the worst.

I got this idea from my brother Israel, who used to live with some people that all had similar body types. They weighed themselves from week to week, and whoever was the fattest got to make the rules. I always thought it would be fun to live in that kind of an environment.

I live in a house of overly competitive people, so I'm hoping for good things with this. Either we will be wonderfully united or horribly divided. We'll see.

My first idea was that we could take one Saturday a month and participate in pointless competitions. (The first suggestion was that we stage a 30-mile race to a nearby town. Means of transportation were undecided.) This evolved into an idea for random, spontaneous competition throughout the week.

I'm overly excited about this prospect, and I've been thinking about it all day.

One challenge per roommate per week. At least half of the roommates must be present for a competition to be considered a house challenge. Spontaneity is key. The first challenge was to see who could stand on one leg the longest. Contact was allowed. Zach was the best at this challenge, and I was the worst.

Additionally, you can challenge the person ranked directly above you or below you so that you can move up a spot or assert your dominance respectively. This duel of sorts would work just like it did between two gentlemen in the olden days. You challenge your opponent, and because you are so sure that you are better than him, you allow him to choose the weapon. Kind of a, "Look, I'm better than you, and to prove it, you can pick the activity that I am better at" sort of a thing. If one of you refuses to participate, that person forfeits.

So, to redeem myself from my rank of worst roommate, I challenged Chad to a duel. He chose finger-jousting. I won. I'm now fourth. Whew.

Chad says that I'm going to be that guy that speeds up just to beat the old man to the bus stop. Then I will turn around and inform him that he's just moved down a spot in the hierarchy of life. I think Chad's just bitter.


Jarred D. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jarred D. said...

Seeing as no one has informed of the newly instated house hierarchy I am forced to make assumptions. I'm left with three options: 1. I'm clearly the most dominate roommate and therefore your hierarchy leaves everyone else bidding for the #2 spot. 2. You're too scared to invite me because I'm again obviously the most dominate roommate. 3. I'm the worst roommate by far and there's no reason for me to compete because there's no point in me ever getting out of the basement (pun intended) in this competition. I'm hoping #2 is the real reason because it means I strike fear in your heart every time you think of me and what's better than that? Either way, it's on like donkey kong.

Marta said...

you are magic.

illbred said...

i love this.